Vlasic Pickles and the Shock of a Lifetime
by AmyJean.77
Summary: Ponyboy's puking spells are getting alarming. He can't tell Darry or Soda, they'll flip! And telling anyone else is simply out of the question. Hopefully he spills the beans before he compromises the health of himself and someone totally unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

Kind of short for a first chapter, but eh. Come Home Soon, Johnny needs some adult company. All the immature one-shots and drabbles are driving him crazy. LOL!

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Ponyboy Curtis woke up unceremoniously at four thirty in the morning. Not caring if he woke his brother Sodapop, he made a mad dash for the toilet. He not-so-gracefully hurled last night's supper into the porcelain throne. When he was doing nothing but dry heaving, he flushed the toilet, bidding goodbye to the mess and feeling instantly better.

He brushed his teeth and cleaned off his face. Making his way into his room, he noticed his brother hadn't woken up. In fact, Ponyboy didn't think he'd moved at all. Falling mostly on top of Sodapop, he rolled until he hit his respectful side of the bed, next to the wall.

He was glad that Soda didn't even stir at the movement. The less questioning, the better. He then realized annoyingly, that it was quite muggy and too warm for his liking. His curling bangs were sticking his forehead. Beads of perspiration mixed with melted hair grease rolled into his eyes, making them sting. Using the collar of his shirt, he wiped at his eyes until they no longer watered. Attempting to ignore the swirling heat, he tried falling back into slumber.

He tried laying on his stomach first, curling his arms under his head. To be honest, it felt weird. The pressure on his stomach felt tight and uncomfortable. He was sure that if he settled on his front it would soon turn painful. Then he tried on his back. The natural arch of his lumbar wasn't agreeing with the mattress. It protested and ached until he tried on his left side. Attempting to curl his legs up to his chest, he found that the way his head lay made him feel as if he had a crick in it. Giving up, he got to his knees and realized something. Strangely enough, he was hungry.

Figuring it was due to his newly emptied stomach, he rolled back over Soda, who still didn't stir. Trudging his way into the kitchen, he thought of what he wanted first. Opening the freezer and fridge at the same time, cool air washed over him, making him sigh in relief. Peering into the lighted abyss, he saw a jar that caught his eye. _Vlasic _pickles were supposed to be the best, right? Ponyboy laughed quietly at the memory of seeing the ugly stork on television. He had spectacles sitting on his beak and was always dangling a crisp, green pickle in his hand.

_"The pickle pregnant women crave.... After all, who's a better pickle expert?"_The commercial always made Ponyboy laugh.

Even though he never could figure out if the pickle expert was supposed to be the stork, or the pregnant women.

* * *

Random fact of the day: That Vlasic commercial is real, and I still don't know who the pickle expert is.


	2. Chapter 2

By the way, this fic doesn't have anything to do with Come Home Soon, Johnny. My buddy was like... "Wait, isn't this in the chsj-verse?" And I was like "Oh shit! I didn't specify." Then we took turns making fun of me. XD

Woot, chapter two! And it's about twice long as chapter one. Bahahaha.!

Oh yeah, **I don't own shit! And there's SLASH! So if you don't like slash, LEAVE PLEASE! **THANKS!

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Ponyboy flicked the pickle against the side of the jar, removing the excess of stinky vinegar. He had to admit, he felt alot better. He'd turned on a fan and a small lamp, and was now munching pleasantly on the salty delight.

Ponyboy jumped out of his seat. The grandfather clock had chimed five times. Soon after, Darry's alarm clock could be heard blasting a random radio station. Darry emerged from his room, cursing the early hour. He looked into the living room and saw the lamp on. Figuring someone had come to sleep on the couch, he turned away and went to the bathroom to shower.

Much more awake, Darry stepped into the kitchen to begin breakfast for himself, his brothers and whoever was camping on their couch, supposing that the visitor stayed that long. Darry flipped on the kitchen light and illuminated the room. The couch was bare, and Darry whipped his head around. Finding the "visitor", he fought back a laugh. Ponyboy was leaned over the table, a half-eaten pickle in hand, snoring quite loudly.

Darry disposed of the the shriveled snack and put the pickle jar back where it belonged. Easily picking him up, Darry carried the younger Curtis back to bed. Ponyboy curled up next to the wall, shivering. Suddenly feeling very corny and not caring, the elder grabbed a spare blanket from the chair and wrapped the youngster in warmth.

Beaming like a proud parent, Darry had to admit he did feel very fatherly towards his youngest brother. Watching the boy who could so easily be his son, Darry's eyebrows furrowed together as the sleeping boy's eyes snapped open violently. Ponyboy barely acknowledged the fact that the last time he recalled falling asleep, it was at the kitchen table. He quickly rolled over Sodapop, paid no notice that Darry was even in the room, and in a full-on sprint, ran to the bathroom.

Ponyboy closed the door, and relieved his bladder. Darry heard his brother sigh in relief.

"Ponyboy?" Darry knocked softly on the door. "Are you alright?"

Ponyboy gasped quietly. He didn't know Darry was awake. "Yeah, I'm okay." He shrugged to himself, at least it explained how he ended up in his bed. "I really had to pee. I didn't know you were awake, Darry." Hopefully his brother had been asleep when he awoke unpleasantly up-chucking. The _last_thing Ponyboy needed was Darry flipping out and rushing him to an emergency room, somewhere.

"Yeah, it's Monday, remember? Work and school, today." Darry reminded his son-like figure as he came out of the bathroom. Ponyboy nodded and made a move to walk to the kitchen. "Why don't you head back to bed, you look beat."

Ponyboy smiled a little, Darry had been more compassionate lately. Nobody knew why of course, but the first person with a complaint could get used to a nice bloody nose.

Rolling over a still comatose Sodapop, Ponyboy let out a tiny grunt when his head bumped into the wall.

"What? What happened?" Soda yelled, his eyes flying open. Ponyboy couldn't help but roll his eyes. He then got quite comfortable despite his previous attempts, and he discovered that on his left side, it didn't hurt too bad.

The soft snoring of Sodapop lulled Ponyboy into the limbo between being asleep and being awake. When six o'clock rolled around, Ponyboy woke up to soft tugging of his sleeve.

"Wake up, baby." A soft, warm voice floated into Ponyboy's ear, making him crack one eye open to stare at his boyfriend.

_"Clear!" The doctor on-call yelled to the attending nurses._

_"Clear," Someone replied, and the sound of electricity could be heard throughout the room._

_A very young Ponyboy Curtis was resting his head on the wall, hearing but not seeing, everything the professionals were doing._

_Very suddenly, the long drawn out beep stopped, along with what Ponyboy was sure was his own heart._

_And then, as quickly as the beep stopped, it started again, and again, and then again._

_It didn't falter, it didn't beep continuously, it was beeping about every second. Johnny Cade was alive, and Ponyboy Curtis was bawling like a baby._

"Johnny! You know you gotta watch it!" Ponyboy said, getting up out of bed, almost not even angry with Johnny.

He barked a laugh. "I don't think I would even if Darry was here."

"You sonofagun." Ponyboy laughed. "You wouldn't take that risk."

Johnny looked at him unbelievably. "You know I would. I want them to know. I don't think they would care."

Ponyboy sighed in defeat. "I know, but we still have to be careful."

"I know, I know." Johnny smiled. "But we don't have time to be careful right now. You're gonna be late for school."

The younger boy rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. "Alright, but you gotta promise you'll be here when I get home. It's been over a week since we... yanno? I figured we could go over the hill tonight."

Johnny's dark-skinned cheeks tinged purple at all the memories from the back seat of the car over the hill.

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Okay, so maybe it's obvious that I adore the father/son-like relationship that Ponyboy and Darry have. Since their parents are gone, I feel Ponyboy needs a father figure, and we all know Dally's not gonna do it. XD

I also loveeee the potential that Ponyboy and Johnny have.


	3. Chapter 3

-Sings- Five foot something, cherry bomb, she had everything going on. The first thing that caught my eye, she was rockin' the beer gut, and I love the way she's not ashamed.

Okay I'll stop now before the torches are lit. XD

I know it's been forever since I've updated, but I promise once everything starts rolling, (you'll know when it does) these will come muchhhh faster and longer.

I'll probably be changing the rating to M, because things are definitely going to be getting more mature. For example:

* * *

While Johnny walked Ponyboy to school, he knocked his knuckles against Johnny's palm every so often. Casting him a warning glance, Johnny whispered, "You're being awful careful."

Ponyboy then sported an evil smirk and twisted his head in all directions. He grabbed Johnny's hand, throwing him to his knees behind a big bush. Mauling the elder's lips, Ponyboy sighed into the kiss when Johnny caressed the skin just below his shirt.

Falling from their kneeled positions, Ponyboy took control of the kiss, letting his tongue slip through.

"Ooh eed geh sk--" Johnny tried to say. His boyfriend snickered as best he could and decided upon full-out tongue war.

Ponyboy's hands began to wander. They flitted down Johnny's sides, resting on his hips for a moment, before coming up to cup his face. Johnny flipped Ponyboy over and hovered over his thin frame. The youngster's hands went off again. Squeezing his boyfriend's sides, and began reaching for the button on his worn-out jeans.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Johnny warned, sitting up and giving Ponyboy as stern a look as he could muster. "_You_ have to go to school! You're gonna be late, and we shouldn't do that in public! You know better."

Ponyboy looked sobered for a moment before standing up and brushing off his jeans. "Sorry...." He mumbled.

Johnny smiled and planted a soft, sweet peck against Ponyboy's lips. "I'm not mad, I just worry about you. Your damn teenage hormones are gonna get us in trouble one of these days."

The youngster chuckled and gave Johnny a warm hug before resuming the path to school alone.

He made it to first period just in time. Botany wasn't the easiest subject, but it fascinated Ponyboy to no end. Monocots and dicots and parenchyma intrigued him more than he would have thought. His curiosity about plants and animals were perfect for that of a biologist, and Ponyboy envisioned it. A long grass-stained white lab coat, thirty types of flowers in his hands, all that looked the same, yet he could identify the differences.

The high schooler was pulled from flowers to reality as he felt the bile rise in his throat. His teachers always told him, "If you feel like you need to throw up, just go, don't even ask." Taking them up on their offer for the first time, Ponyboy clamped a hand over his mouth and raced for the boy's bathrooms. He almost didn't make it. He lifted the lid off a toilet and was violently sick.

"What choo doin there, son?" Mr. Omus asked. Mr. Omus was the school security guard. He was originally principal, but he got too old and was forced to retire, so he became what he is now. He said he couldn't bear to part with the school or its students. The youngster guessed that Mr. Omus had seen him run into the bathroom.

"Nothing Mr. Omus. I'm fine." Ponyboy tried to make the tall, old man go away. To no avail, the ex-principal peeked over the stall door, and saw Ponyboy's stomach contents.

"Come out there, boy. Yee'll need to go to the nursh." Mr. Omus pulled the stall door open, and looked Ponyboy over. "Yip, yip. To the nursh ye go." The elder flushed the toilet with his heel and started walking down the hallway.

Ponyboy hobbled behind the old man, feeling gross at the taste in his mouth. Reaching the nurse's station, the frail-looking one looked up from a phone call.

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Bye." She said, and hung up the receiver. "What's doin' Mr. Omus?"

"Hyerd this boy in the bathroom. Wuz pukin'."

"Oh, is your stomach upset?" She asked over her glasses. Ponyboy had only been to the nurse once, and all he'd needed then was a band-aid.

Ponyboy shrugged one shoulder. "I don't know. It just hit me all at once."

"Did you eat a lot of candy early this morning?" She had a very obvious lisp.

"No, ma'am."

"It might be a stomach flu. I heard that it was going around in the high school across town." She pushed her glasses up. "Have you had any other stomach problems? Diarrhea, or bad gas?"

A blushing Ponyboy nodded. He was having bad gas a couple days ago but attributed it to Darry's chili.

"Definitley a stomach bug." The nurse concluded.

Ponyboy nodded again at that information. It would also explain the sickness he'd had earlier that morning.

"Do you want to call your parents and have them take you home? It wouldn't be good for you to stay here with a flu bug."

Ponyboy's face heated up. "My brother's my guardian, he can come get me." Of course, that wasn't true. Two-Bit or Johnny would be the one to pick him up, but don't tell Mr. Omus or the nurse that.

The nurse picked up the reciever to the phone and handed it to Ponyboy, who dialed the number.

_"Hello?"_ Johnny picked up the phone.

"Hey, it's Ponyboy. Can you come get me? Nurse says I have a stomach bug."

_"Are you okay?"_ He sounded like he really wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"Yeah, I just got sick a few minutes ago. Nurse says I need to come home." Ponyboy stared at a chip of paint in the wall behind a desk. It looked like a tiny person with a big head.

_"Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes to get you."_

"Alright. Bye."

_"Bye." _Ponyboy hung up the phone, and gave a pained smile to the nurse.

"Do you want to lay down for a while?" The nurse asked.

"No thanks, ma'am. I'll go back to class until he gets here."

"Are you sure? You can rest here if you'd like."

"I'll need to get my homework, anyway." Ponyboy mumbled a thanks to the nurse and to Mr. Omus then proceeded back to his botany class, Johnny's dark eyes on his brain.

After picking up the assignments from all his classes, Ponyboy made his way towards the office when his name was called to the front.

Not paying attention where he was going, Ponyboy stumbled over a bench of the commons area. He then gracefully crashed right into a dark haired boy who grunted.

"I'm sorry, mister." Ponyboy mumbled.

The dark haired stranger laughed softly and Ponyboy looked up to find his boyfriend's shining black eyes.

"Oh, hey Johnny. It didn't take you long to get here."

"Two-Bit brought me in the car, are you ready to go?" His eyes were full of questions.

"Yeah. I've got all my homework, and stuff."

Walking out of the building, Johnny placed a hand on Ponyboy's shoulder. The high schooler furrowed his eyebrows together in questioning.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Not really sick anymore. I actually feel a little hungry."

"Let's go home and get you some crackers, then." Ponyboy nodded. Johnny then leaned in and whispered in his ear, "I've got the stuff ready if you want to go over the hill, later."

Ponyboy blushed and nodded.

"But we don't have to, if you feel bad when we get home." Johnny's voice became strained with concern.

Ponyboy's voice became strained with anticipation. "No way." He cleared his throat. "I'll bet that old beat-up car misses us."

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

"Thanks for the ride, Two-Bit." Johnny called to the slighty hungover boy.

"No problem guys. I'll see you two later, my head's killing me." With that, he drove away.

Ponyboy walked into the empty house, Johnny on his heels, and placed all his homework on his desk. When he turned around, he got a mouthful of his favorite taste.

A lustful Johnny Cade.

_

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_

Random fact of the day: Mr. Omus is based on my actual school's security guard, and he really talks like that. XD

Here's a translation for Mr. Omus, just in case.

"What choo doin' there, son?" - "What are you doing in there, son?"

"Come out there, boy. Yee'll need to go to the nursh." - "Come on out of there, boy. You will need to visit the nurse."

"Yip, yip. To the nursh ye go." - "Yes, yes. To the nurse you go."

"Hyerd this boy in the bathroom. Wuz pukin'." - "I heard this boy in the bathroom. He was puking."


	4. Chapter 4

Not sure how long it's been since I've updated. A long time, that's all I know.

And now we get to meet my FAVORITE character... the CAR! If that car could talk.... -fans self-

PS. Rating may go up soon, and I WARN THEE! **SLASHHHHHHH** ahead!!! I'm trying to keep it as clean as possible, though.

PSS. I also wanted to make a note about the flashbacks, there will be MANY, seeing as how the boys' relationship has been going on for quite some time, and we are more or less walking into the middle of it.

* * *

Ponyboy let out a surprised squeak that went unnoticed by Johnny, as he was attempting to pull Ponyboy out of the back door while simultaneously trying to rip off all the offending clothing his young boyfriend had worn to school.

Ponyboy grunted as Johnny pushed him up against the back door. "Glory, I missed you this week." Johnny said quietly as Ponyboy's hands fumbled with his belt.

Ponyboy slowed his removal of clothes to a stop. He then flapped his tongue around in his mouth and made a face.

"What is it?" Johnny asked, his brow furrowing.

"My mouth tastes _horrible_." Ponyboy wrinkled his nose and walked quickly to the bathroom. Ponyboy thought he heard Johnny say something to the effect of "I don't care!" but went anyway. Making quick work of it, he simply swished with mouthwash, figuring it would be enough. It must have been, because Johnny stepped into the bathroom as Ponyboy was walking out and looked much more eager than before to pull their mouths together.

Not wasting any time, Johnny grabbed Ponyboy by the hips, pulling him flush to his body. Ponyboy groaned, suddenly feeling that week of abstinence working against him. "Go get in the car, I'll leave the note. Did you get the blankets?"

Johnny whined, not wanting to leave but nodded. "Blankets, check, and hurry with the note!" He said smirking as he opened the back door and peered around. When he saw that no one was outside, he jogged downwards, tugging slightly at his belt on the way. Ponyboy's eyes started to follow his backside, but he stopped as he remembered he'd have to leave a "note."

_Darry and Soda,_

_Me and Johnny went for another walk. Be back in an hour or two._

_Pony_

Ponyboy read the note over again, humorously wondering when his brothers were going to get suspicious. They'd been going for "walks" for almost a year. As far as Sodapop and Darry knew, they simply followed the swell of the hill to the side of the creek and walked down there. What they didn't know is that Ponyboy and Johnny had found an old beat up car just over the peak of the hill, behind a big bush, and both had thought it would be perfect to mess around in.

Most of the car had been broken into, all windows gone, almost every part of it stolen, except the frame and the seats.

Ponyboy had decided, all of thirty seconds after finding the car, that the broken-out windows would just not do if they were going to do anything in there. Johnny pleaded with him, saying that he had no idea how he could fix them, but Ponyboy simply wouldn't step into it until the windows were covered.

_"No, Johnny, I am _not_ doing _anything _in that car until you find something to put on those windows!" Ponyboy yelled, irritation flowing off of him in pulses._

_"Pony, it's behind a bush! Who's gonna see?" Johnny tried to reason._

_"I will not have my bare ass hanging out of those windows, and until they're covered you can forget about doing anything with me!"_

_Ponyboy had then stormed off, and Johnny had thought they were close to breaking up. Devastated, he went to the lot and plopped down on a pile of thrown out cloth._

_"Where'd these come from?" Johnny asked himself as he stood off of the fabric, pulling some of it up and inspecting it. They looked to be old sheets. They were dingy and had a couple of worn holes in them, but otherwise looked and smelled as if they'd just been washed. Johnny grabbed up the sheets, there turned out to be five in all, and threw them into the back seat of the old car. Seeing that they were painfully thin, he figured he could paint them the color of the car, or close at least. It would make being in the car more comfortable for Ponyboy, of that Johnny was sure._

_The next day, he thumbed a ride to the gas station._

_"Hey, Steve, Soda; do you guys have any blue or grey paint?" Johnny asked as he arrived, excitement in his voice._

_"Nope, don't think so, kid." Steve said, wiping his hands on his front._

_"Wait, yeah we do. 'Member? That old guy asked for the bluish paint, but he had Alzheimer's, and got the color wrong?"_

_"Ahh, yeah. And boss got super pissed 'cause we ordered all that paint but couldn't send it back."_

_"Do you guys still have it?" Johnny asked, anxiously._

_"Yeah, see that big box over there?" Steve pointed at a cardboard box with gibberish numbers and letters on it, Johnny nodded. "That's the one."_

_Johnny grabbed four cans, just in case, and Soda gave him a ride home. Ponyboy's brother had questions, but Johnny didn't answer any of them, replying robotically that he was simply bored and wanted to paint. Thanking his friend, Johnny checked the time on the dashboard before he got out._

_12:23. He had almost three hours to fix the windows on the car and have it perfect by the time Ponyboy came home from school._

_Working hastily, he laid out all the sheets and using his switch blade, cut out six roughly sized segments. He then painted each of them, making odd bluish-grey squares in the grass around them. He held up each piece to the window he'd cut it for and, satisfied with the sizes, walked into the house to find something to secure them. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was a little after two. Panicking slightly, he grabbed a roll of duct tape and sprinted down the hill. The windshield, back windshield, front seat windows, and the back seat window facing the forest, Johnny taped the fabric on all four sides. The remaining window, he secured just the top and let it fall free._

_By then, he heard a faint whistling, and a scrape of sneakers on sidewalk. Ponyboy was home from school, and before he knew what was happening, he was being dragged off down the hill._

_"Where are we going, Johnny?" Ponyboy huffed as he was being pulled by the hand._

_"I have a surprise for you." Johnny smiled to himself, hoping desperately that Ponyboy would be happy with the covered vehicle._

_Thinking he was going to be romanced into the exposed car, Ponyboy replied a little coldly, "I told you I ain't getting in that damned car until you fix the--" Ponyboy faded off when he saw the car, covered completely except for one window. "W-windows... you fixed 'em?" Ponyboy's eyes were wide._

_Proud of himself, Johnny smiled and laced their hands together.. "Mmhm," He hummed._

Ponyboy recalled that evening quite well. They'd made love for the first time in the newly covered car, and when they got back Darry and Soda had been furious.

_"Where the hell have you been?" Darry yelled to the blushing Ponyboy and Johnny, who thought they'd been caught._

_"We went for a walk, Dar." Johnny said cooly, the purple tinge in his cheeks evaporating quickly. He was turning on his police face._

Ponyboy recalled that Darry didn't look like he believed them, but he ate the story and was satisfied.

* * *

Kind of a filler, but it does make a bit of progress.

This chapter has been finished for a while, but unfortunately my best friend's mother passed away recently, and it's been hard. Updates will be coming a bit faster now that I've introduced the car.

Rest In Peace, Veronica. This chapter is for you.


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